IMAGE is AI generated from Meta AI using the phrase "rest in peace departed soul. find comfort" 

I spent the last three weeks supporting my partner through the loss of her mother.  This post is about the human journey.  A journey all of us will take at some point in our lives. 

A few observations:

For the dying they are led through a portal to a place we can only imagine. Reports from the portal are few and far between.  The forces of nature at some point will take all of us through that door and transform us into something else.  An existence we can only imagine, but one that remains far from our understanding -- for those left behind there is the task of living. If we can successfully deal with the pain of loss, living gets easier.  

For the last three weeks I've been a witness to that process.  There are some learnings to share about the left behind.  How to honor the dead and ourselves.  How to get complete with the loss of a loved one.   I wish I had more reports to share about what happens when we cross the veil, but thus far I am still in a place of wonder. When my friend Walter passed away in 2000 he said with his last breath "why didn't anyone tell me this place was so beautiful."  

FEEL: For starters I'd like to lead with the notion that there is no “toughing out” loss.  There are tender places in us that must be honored if we are to move past loss and allow the pain of being separated from the ones we love into something else.  There are no formulas for this process, each person is different, but having a good cry is an excellent starting place.  If you witness a child deal with loss the very first thing they do is cry.  It is the natural reset button for human beings.  And there is no shame in being human.  Men have a tough time with this.  Not enough generosity has been granted to men to show their emotions.  There is a cost to stuffing our feelings.  The body keeps the score.  Unreleased feelings come out in other ways such as physical pain, illness and other emotions. 

MAKE ROOM FOR A PROCESS: All religions and even secular folks have a process for dealing with loss of a loved one.  I know when my father died it was sudden and happened out of state.  There was so much to deal with and so little time to organize a service.  I deeply regret not having a memorial service for my father.  Conversely, when Sharon's mother (Lynn) died they organised three separate events for friends, acquaintances and family.  Hundreds of people showed up to share their experience of life with Lynn. I watched as hearts melted.  It was as important for them as it was for Sharon's father, Ian, to hear and feel all the love. I also got to see first hand how the pain of loss got soothed and cared for through memories.  It was quite beautiful.  

ORGANIZE NOW FOR WHEN THINGS SETTLE DOWN: The wee hours are when the pinch of loss will be felt the greatest.  Make sure you have people around you.  If you don't have family nearby then join a club or group so you can get some human interaction.   Meals are a great way to feel connected.  Friends love to eat and spend time over a meal.  It is easier to fall apart than come together, but come together anyway.  Routines can help when there's still no purpose.  At some point we find our WHY, but till then fake it till you make it. 

YOUR WHY:  Without purpose there is no point to life.  Find it. Your why.  Yes, but how? That's the small voice.  Keep listening.  It's there.  It might be just a whisper, but keep your ear to the ground.  It probably sounds like an inaudible string of something vaguely remembered.  Keep on trying to figure it out.  Wait? What was that?  It sounded familiar.  Like something I had long forgotten.  Please.  Come again? ...

~ Joseph Olejak

Pater Noster
 
I’ve forgotten how I knew it was the night,
but approaching footsteps followed by a knock
told us he’d come, who turning left, then right,
would instruct our souls that could not fly, in flight.
 
The Pater Noster that we’d memorized,
he brought in a book to my brother’s bed,
and sitting on the wide rail that ran beside,
with each sentence he filled his head,
until the words took meaning in their tide.
 
And I was next who’d heard the broken prayer,
though I kept myself hidden from his point of view,
with maybe just a look or two
across to my brother and his sayer
who held in thought what I was now to do.
 
When the prayer was over and the text was closed,
from my walled in bed he rose,
ascended the stairs and shut the door,
more alone than ever before.

~ Bob Elmendorf

Tree Stock photos by Vecteezy

When I first heard the news of who had won the election in 2016, I remember what felt like an audible gasp of horror at who and what we were facing for the next four years.  It turned out to be almost a decade of gasps.  One after another in what seemed like a fire hose of change.  

As a nation we have come to accept less:   Less civility, less resiliency, and even less hope.  I know my cynicism reached new heights in the last 8 years. And yet I know that the words in Ecclesiastes 3:1 is correct "everything has its season and a purpose under heaven."  Even in my darkest moments when I think things can't get any worse I notice that things can turn in an instant.  That I have no control is both a source of worry and hope. Things can go in the right direction.  Not everything is gravitating toward entropy.   Humans can, and do, make good choices. 

Regeneration (to create new), Renewal (the repair of something worn out) and Reinvention (take up a new way of life) seem to be the future we are living into.  Many signs point to this.  One example I found quite funny was that people are tired of "reality TV" and that viewing is down 57%.   It reminds me of that John Lennon song "Gimme Some Truth."   "I'm sick of short sighted hypocrites, just gimme some truth now." 

At every turn in US history we seemed to have had the chance to go darker or go deeper.  The civil war brought us to a deeper understanding of our own declaration of independence.  It was either expand slavery or expand freedom.  Maybe we are the precipice of another political and social renewal.  Are we ready as a nation and individual people to create anew, repair that which is worn out and take up a new way of life?   The old methods had their time, but they are now bankrupt.  

We need sustainability, fairness and work-ability  in every sphere of our political and economic life, 

The Quaker way of simplicity can lead us in this new direction.   We have only to look to nature to find tremendous productivity and frugality.  A tree is so economical.  One has only to observe a tree for a short period of time (as in Goethean scientific observation) to discover how delightfully efficient a tree is. It can produce wood and shade at the same time.  It can nourish a squirrel and a billion microbes in the earth at the same time.  It can talk to us in the whisper of its leaves and communicate to 100 other trees through an underground network of roots and mycelium.  How fantastical!! 

My queries this day are: 

• What can I simplify to live more in alignment with others and the earth? 
• What in my life is in need of renewal -- or -- what has become stale and of no use anymore? 
• What can I make new?  Does everything have to be done the same old way?  Are there better ways? 
  
• What needs fixing that I've been ignoring for too long? 

~ Joseph Olejak  

The grail story is a peek into human development -- from the individual to the community of humankind.  What can Parzival teach us? 
 
The real meat of this story is Parzival opening up to the frozen parts of his soul.  The thawing, painful as it is, is instructive because pain prods us awake. And once awake we can honor the sacred within not just ourselves but that which is sacred in others.  
 
Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation; but deliver us from evil.
 
Parzival is a knight.  He murders and maims ... until ... he comes to a place where he turns inward away from deeds and doings to redemption and reconciliation.  How does he do this?  He gets lost. He is taken in by a hermit who is injured.  He uses his senses to turn away from his own pain and asks the question: What ails thee?
 
What can deliver us from evil? Forgiveness, first of ourselves and then others. This compassion opens us up to wonder.  As in "what is going on around me?" What are my fellow human beings experiencing?  Are you okay, brother?  Do you need a hand, sister? It needn't be a grand gesture.  Small is often better. 
 
When we are lost.  When we have become untethered from what we know.  It is okay to drop the reins like Parzival and let the horse lead the way.  Sometimes not knowing is a beautiful gift.  It forces our senses open and allows us the opportunity for discovery.  Maybe we know too much.  Maybe as Confucious taught true knowledge begins at the point of discovering our own ignorance. 
 
In our individual grail journeys we stumble upon truth.  And that's a good thing. Truth often comes in the form of stumbling blocks. How do we perceive it? Curse or blessing?   Take the blessing, move to the next personal or social transformation and then pass it on.  That is the true blessing -- to pay it forward. 

~ Joseph Olejak

New York Yearly Meeting publishes the following advice:
Remembering the tenderness of Jesus for children, we recommend that parents and those who have the important charge of educating youth exercise a loving and watchful care over them. Meetings are urged to help parents and children share religious experiences at home and in the meeting for worship and to give them an understanding of the principles and practices of Friends.
 
So, according to NYYM, the family is of paramount importance to Friends. The family is the means by which Quakerism is passed on to children; and, by implication, the family is the basis of a better society based on “the principles and practices of Friends. Also, by implication, Jesus is seen as a promoter of these family, Quaker values.

But was the historical Jesus a defender of family values? After all, Jesus is reputed to have said, “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple.” (Luke 14:26, NIV)

Fact is, Jesus expected the imminent coming of a supernatural Kingdom of God which would supplant the family. Thus, the ties of father and mother with children were not of ultimate importance. Jesus even had conflicts with his own family, who apparently thought his ministry was evidence of insanity. Once, when his family was gathered outside a crowded house, wanting to come in to see him, Jesus remarked, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?”  ‘Pointing to his disciples, he said,’ “Here are my mother and my brothers.  For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.” (Matthew 12:48-50, NIV)

It's a well-known fact that many Quaker social activists place social reform ahead of time and effort spent with their own family. Is this not the true Quaker way, a way advocated by Jesus himself?

Maybe not. At least it may not be the Quaker way. After all, Friends do not usually expect the imminent appearance of a supernatural Kingdom of God. Failing this belief, believing rather that society is going to persist for the foreseeable future, is it not incumbent for Friends to foster a strong family? I think that this is a matter of debate among us. Perhaps some are called to be social activists who put family in second place, and others are called to concentrate on family values. I think this may be the solution to the problem.

~ Richard Russell 

The Gospels of Matthew, Mark, and Luke certainly portray Jesus in conflict with Jewish groups like the Pharisees and the Sadducees, but John gives us a blanket condemnation of the Jewish people. He repeatedly refers to “the Jews” as Jesus’ opponents. In each of the other Gospels, this global, pejorative term is only used five or six times, but John mentions “the Jews” some seventy-one times. And according to John, “the Jews” are responsible for Jesus’ crucifixion and death. 

The explanation for John’s anti-Jewishness can be found in a linguistic and sociological analysis of the community that produced the Gospel of John. Modern scholars have determined that John’s Gospel is a compilation of various oral traditions and documents. Parts of John display an older, “low” Christological tradition in which Jesus is referred to as “the lamb of God,” “rabbi,” or even “messiah,” none of which include the notion of divinity. A rabbi, for example, is a teacher; and the messiah is a human being, chosen by God to rule his people Israel. 

Other, later sources in John evince a “high Christology,” which identifies Jesus with God. So, for example, John has Jesus say, “Truly, truly I say to you, before Abraham was, I am.” (NIV) “I am” is, of course, a circumlocution for “God.” Jesus is saying that he is divine, an  assertion for which “the Jews” want to stone him when he makes this claim.

Scholars have hypothesized that the older, Christological passages must have come from a Jewish community in which Christian Jews were a minority. Christians are, of course, notorious for proselytizing. As the Christian Jews tried to convert their fellow “Jewish Jews,” the unity of the community was disrupted. Eventually, the Christian Jewish minority was formally excluded from the community. These “excommunicated” Christian Jews were quite bitter about their expulsion, and—in later passages of John—expressed virulent anti-Jewish sentiments, throwing about the term “the Jews” and building an ideological wall between themselves and their erstwhile colleagues. Now that they were on their own, the Christian Jews developed a high Christology, in which Jesus was no mere rabbi or messiah, but God Himself. This is the Christology that dominates John’s Gospel.

Of course, there is an element of speculation in this scenario, but it seems very probable that scholars are right in positing a break-up of an original Jewish community in which—for a time—Christians were accepted as one type of Jew, later to be cast outside the pale.

Friends have had a somewhat similar experience, dividing numerous times. In fact, we now have the FUM Friends, who generally espouse a high Christology, and liberal Friends, who see Jesus as a prophet or wise man, but by no means God Incarnate. I personally favor the idea of Jesus as prophet, but—in any case—John is my least favorite Gospel. I believe that John, in spite of occasional low Christology, takes us far away from the historical Jesus into a supernatural realm that has much to do with theology and little to do with history. And, for me, history trumps theology.   

(This article was based on Bart Ehrman’s The New Testament: A Historical Introduction to the Early Christian Writings, 3rd edition, Oxford University Press, 2004).
           
~ Richard Russell     

…is the title of a six-part Netflix documentary about the rise and fall of Nazi Germany. To tell the story, director Joe Berlinger uses footage from the Nuremburg trial of Hitler’s principal henchmen, flashing back to archival film of the events described in the trial. That archival footage has been colorized so that it seems contemporary rather than black-and-white, grainy film from the distant past. When archival footage is not available, Berlinger presents actors recreating the  events.

He also uses artificial intelligence to reproduce William Shirer’s voice. Shirer was a newsman stationed in Berlin during Hitler’s Third Reich. Excerpts from Shirer’s books come alive as his AI-generated voice narrates the action. Although Berlinger does employ interviews with historians, that action is never impeded by scholarly commentary. The documentary is a drama, frameworked by the drama of the Nuremburg trial. 

This is, of course, a story of unspeakable violence. Besides the harrowing scenes from Nazi concentration camps, there is an unsettling film of the dead bodies of Hitler’s collaborators after the court’s death sentence was executed. The corpses are lined up, lying on the ground, the hangman’s ropes still attached to their necks. In short, those Friends who prefer not to see filmed violence may well want to avoid viewing Hitler and the Nazis.

And yet, the Peace Testimony pre-supposes that Friends have some experience, real or vicarious, of violence. And that experience should be relevant to contemporary events. Hitler and the Nazis makes us aware of the relevance of Nazism. Hitler speaks of “making Germany great again” and Hitler’s Berghof retreat is compared to Donald Trump’s Mar-a-Lago club. It’s clear that some of the same forces operating in Nazi Germany—polarization and distrust of democratic institutions—are at work here in the U.S. of 2024.

I highly recommend this Netflix documentary, which transcends the documentary format and presents us a history that is alive and riveting.

~ Richard Russell     

Where two or more are gathered, I am there among you" 
~Mathew 18:20

In another era, the Hellenistic era, there was the idea of having a relationship with the sacred Sofia.  In our modern way of thinking we associate Sofia with sound judgment, clear thinking, practical wisdom and intelligence, but that wasn't the original definition.  Sofia was to Plato like a muse. He courted her.  Socrates, in Plato's Apology, presents himself as a man who knows nothing and yet was among the wisest.  

The Sofia I am referring to is the wisdom of the gathered.  The gathered meeting. The spiritual being that joins with us when we are in a place, in person, and ready to approach the movement of spirit.  Where there is an intention. A waiting and yet no specific expectation.  A place of not knowing. 

This wisdom really has very little to do with modern thinking about wisdom.  It is more akin to a "positive knowing" about something.  Hard to pin it down, but when you hear a message in meeting that resonates on a deep level you have the feeling that you connected with something bigger than yourself and bigger than each person in the room.  

In a world drowning in information, technology and noise -- hearing the Sacred Sofia is a like a cool glass of water to the parched man dying of thirst.  

~ Joseph Olejak

To "listen" another's soul into a condition of disclosure and discovery may be almost the greatest service that any human being ever performs for another. But in this scrutiny of the business of listening, is that all that has emerged? Is it blasphemous to suggest that over the shoulder of the human listener, there is never absent the silent presence of the Eternal Listener, the living God? For in penetrating to what is involved in listening, do we not disclose the thinness of the filament that separates persons listening openly to one another, and that of God intently listening to each soul?
         
~ from Gleanings by Douglas V. Steere

 ~ submitted by Richard Russell

It is ironic that often it is in the church where we are least open and honest with each other, unable to share and deal with the concerns that touch people most deeply. Part of the meaning of fellowship is to know and be known by others. Within this fellowship we should be able to share from the depths of our souls. There should be no pretending. Before God all our attempts at self-protection are worthless anyway. We cannot fool God and it is questionable whether we will fool others either….
         
In community we can take off the masks and give up defense mechanisms, as they are no longer needed. In community we can overcome the gap between our public face and private face, the difference between the way we act at home and the way we act with others. We can feel free to share both who we are and what we have, our strengths and weaknesses, assets and needs. We can completely give ourselves to each other.
          ~ Source: Arthur G. Gish, Living in Christian Community (Herald Press, 1979, p.65).
            From Plough article Communion, posted March 7, 2024, https://www.plough.com/en .
           
So, by Gish’s definition of community, is Old Chatham Monthly Meeting a true community? Hard to say, but certainly food for thought.

~ submitted by Richard Russell