"You never know what direction the wind blows from or where it blows to." 
~ Theo Erik 

My friend and spiritual mentor, Theo, shared this with me 30 years ago.  He was making an analogy between the wind and the movement of spirit.  I have been considering his words for the last three decades and here is what has become clear to me. 

It would be nice to have certainty about life, but we don't have a birds eye view of life.  We can't survey the situation of life from high above. We very often don't have all the information we need to make sense of things when they happen.  Sometimes it can take time (and often quite a long time) to put things into perspective.  What first appears as chaos may, in hindsight, actually be order.  

Consider for a moment a giant thing of chaos like a tornado or a hurricane.  Yes, it tears through everything in its path and causes havoc, but it also follows the laws of nature.  In the chaos, there is also order.  We don't fully understand it and with time we might.   It was not that long ago that Newton sat under the apple tree.  Before Newton the three laws of motion were as opaque to us as hurricanes and tornados are today.  We can predict them a little better, but even with the best computer modeling we don't know exactly where they will go, how much rain they'll drop, or which town they'll rip through.   

When something happens we don't understand (for good or ill) it seems to come like a bolt out of the blue.  We are often taken by surprise, but what if the context in which we hold these events was not chaos, but the natural order of spirit working in our lives?  And yes, the analogy with a hurricane or a tornado is apropos.  Spirit is a disruptive influence on the workings of the world.  Like a hurricane it is an influence that is an order of magnitude higher.  I suspect the reason is that so many of us are tone deaf to that "small and persistent voice."  

However, what if like Newton, we are able to sit and perceive the inner workings of the universe?  

What would it be like if our relationship to spirit were like that?  To be attuned, awake, aware, conscious and looking for which way the wind  blows? 

Here are my queries on the working of spirit: 

• Am I willing to be quiet and listen? 
• Am I open to think that I (little humble me) could be the recipient of a message? 
• In what context do I hold the ebbs and flows of life?  
  • Are life's happenings random and unpredictable? 
  • Could it be that life is providing spiritual direction? 
• What tools do I have to navigate these gusts of spirit? 
  • If I am a "spiritual sailor" how might I adjust my rudder and my sail? 
  • Might there be a way to perceive the movement of spirit and be a more adept navigator of life?

Joseph Olejak

​Dear Readers,

Below is a brief essay contest.  The submissions are due by Sunday, September 8th, 2019.

The prize is $10.00 to be donated in your name to your favorite charity.

As ethical concerns should be of interest to all Quakers, here follows a description of the essay request:

On Sunday, August 18, 2019, our Meeting faced a moral dilemma.  In 500 words or less, propose a better solution than that which was experienced.

The situation involved the Meeting being held outdoors, on the lawn, with no shade.  Chairs were arranged in a circle.  At times it was overcast.  At other times it was more sunny and it was always very hot.  Perhaps a third of the way or so into the Meeting one woman went to her car and came back with four umbrellas.  She took one herself and gave another to her partner.
She then put  the other two flat on the ground in the center of the circle.  

Finally, after several minutes, someone picked up one of the other two umbrellas laying on the ground and gave it to the most senior member of the circle of about 26 people, which included a wide variety of ages, down to a very young infant.

Here's the moral dilemma.  For perhaps the final half hour, the last umbrella remained on the ground in the center of the circle when it clearly could have brought welcome shade to any of the members of the circle.  If such inaction by Meeting members was not the best approach in this situation, what would have been better?  Was the constraint of silence an inhibiter to a better response to the situation?  Is caring for the well being of all a drawback sufficient to prevent caring for any one in this case?

I look forward to your written responses.

Don Lathrop

Post your comments below.

Someone posed a concern in meeting on Sunday about "racial violence" and "what drives people to commit acts of racial violence?"  

I studied biology in college and earned a bachelors of science in biology.  In one microbiology class the professor talked about germ lines.  Cells that are the progenitors of long lines of cells. Maybe you've heard of one very famous stolen line of cells from a woman named Henrietta Lacks.   Cells taken from her in the 1950's are still in use today in labs, decades later, studied for cancer research.  Her cancer cells just keep reproducing. 

We have a germ line in the US no one seriously wants to talk about.  Lincoln was shot in the head over it, Johnson normalized terrorism in the south after reconstruction because of it, Nixon used dog whistle politics to win an election over it, and Daniel Patrick Moynehan called it "the Negro problem" in his white paper on poverty in the black community.  Today we have a president that has stirred up fear in many and used it overtly for political gain over it.  

What is it?  You guessed right.  Racism.  

This nasty undercurrent in our national affairs is not new.  We've just never dealt with it.  It is our uniquely national disease that will need, like a festered wound, to be opened, treated, and dealt with until it heals. For now it just festers and might threaten our very existence.

In biology, to deal with infection or cancer you can't just kill it.  Invariably, in the absence of a strong immune system an infection or cancer will return.  A toxic ideology must be treated like an infection or cancer.  Yes, it must be treated and stamped out, but it also has to be replaced with a new way of thinking, a better mental construct, an internal compass that steers us away from the germ line of a toxic idea. 

I learned recently that there are entire groups that worship the kill ratio of the Las Vegas shooter.  They aspire to that kind of thing.  

If there was the political will we could run racists out of office, pass gun laws, and round up violent people with guns, but that would just push the whole business underground.  For every true racist who will go so far as to kill a person of another race, there are 100 who are secret racists.  People who won't say and do overtly racist things, but will tell you about the scum that live in a certain part of town.  We need to do more.  We need to engage in the kind of national dialog (one that Obama avoided) that will ask the hard questions, open the wounds, and let the festering pus out.  Something akin to a National Truth & Reconciliation Commission.  One that might last years.  One that would address everything from the Jamestown Colony right up to Nazi's in the streets of Charlottesville, VA.

Why would we take the time to convene a truth & reconciliation commission?  For the same reasons we held a Constitutional Convention. To form a more perfect union. 

The great promises of our constitution: equal under the law ... and ... life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness are just hollow words if they are not attached to an experience by the majority of Americans that we actually are equal ... and ... we do have a fair shot at life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.  If we don't do this we risk becoming a caricature of democracy.  Our fake president will then preside over a fake Bill of Rights and a fake constitution.  The great promise of America will be not only go unrealized, but if we don't deal with our past and act soon we will, eventually, witness our own demise.  

Liberty is a fragile experiment.   

Fear and ignorance are driving all this hate and it has to be brought out in the open where the fear, suspicion, anger, and hurt can be dealt with. 

Queries I continue to consider about racism, white power, white privilege and white supremacy are:

• What does it mean to be racist?  
• As Quakers how do we stand for equality when we witness racism? 
• How are white privilege and white supremacy different? 
• In what ways can we act together to bring about an end to racism?
• How can we, peacefully, be a demand for change?  

Joseph Olejak

is A friend of mine who lives in Italy was traveling in Siena recently and posted a fresco to her Facebook page of the disciples receiving the Holy Spirit from a church.   As I gazed upon this photo I realized that, like the disciples, the love of God is all around us and is visible in each other when we look for it. 

Curiously, the disciples could not see the flame of the Holy Spirit in themselves but could witness it in their fellow disciples. Maybe not so curious.  Perhaps the message here is that in order to find God in ourselves we must seek it (and see it) in others.  

And even if we don't initially have this view of life, it is possible to generate it.  The gathered meeting is one way to shift worry, fear, stress, and anxiety by just being open to something larger than oneself.  There is no formula for this, but one way I have found that works for me is to just imagine the flame of the Holy Spirit descending on each person in the meeting.  I also recall some good thing about that person and if I don't know them I can simply imagine that they are loved by someone whether they are a mother, father, brother, sister, son or daughter.  

Besides humans, we also see the creative force of love at work in every biologic process. Just consider a garden.  It gives joyfully of itself for no reason.  Even those things which seem destructive, like the death of living things, we see the creative force of decomposition to feed the next phase of life.  Compost is the creative force of microbes even though to our eye it looks like death and decomposition. 

And so the contextual shift available to us to is recalibrate our view of life to ALL IS WELL.  Life is working just as it was designed to.  

The queries I am contemplating today are: 

• What is my point of view on life? 
• In what ways can I shift the context of events to ALL IS WELL? 
• What is my mental frame as I enter meeting for worship? 
• Can I listen for a message in meeting? (and if I can't, can I generate it by actively listening for the light in the other?)

​Joseph Olejak

This Father's Day in Meeting, I began to reflect on the arc of influence a father has.  I considered my grandfathers, my own father, and then my experience as a father.  

The one thing that stood out so strongly for me when considering all the fathers in my family was work ethic.  Working and providing was a big theme.  My father's father worked in the Bronx as a milkman for Sealtest.  He delivered milk to three and four-story walkups without elevators.  At one point in his career, he drove a team of horses while delivering milk.  He worked hard for most of his life; and to him, a job was a way to support his family.  The day he turned 64-- he quit, received his pension and social security, and never worked again.   I only knew my grandfather as a retired man.  

My own father grew up in a time when the notion of work became aligned with self-realization and doing what you love.  My father was a professional man.  He used the GI bill to go to college and become a chiropractor.  Achieving the American Dream was important to him.  He worked up until the day he died at age 84.  To him, work and life were synonymous. I always understood my father as a doctor and healer -- it permeated his every waking hour. 

For myself, I definitely got the work ethic.  I like to work and see the value of work, but working (as my grandfather did) to survive, or working as my father did (to achieve the American Dream) has very little interest for me.  I hated working for money.  I also did not like working for money to fulfill the intentions of other people or corporations.  Work to me has become a spiritual practice.  If work does not fulfill on SPICES (spirituality, peace, integrity, community, equality and service), I am likely not to engage in it-- opting instead for living a simpler life.  Leading a simpler life is a way to do with less.  

Wanting less stuff can allow more space for SPICES. 

I'm not sure my father or grandfather would understand this way of thinking.  We were all inculcated to think that more, more, more was the way.  In my life (and especially in the lives of my children), I have seen that more, more, more is not sustainable.  We have to begin to think about our work and our economic life in ways that are sustainable and inclusive of not just humans, but all living beings. 

My grandfather and my father both had a Cadillac Eldorado.  1959 and 1972 respectively.  I don't aspire to an Eldorado.  

The work of fathers now and in the future may be to provide the leadership and inspiration to bring about a different kind of Eldorado -- not the mythical empire of gold the Spanish sought, but one in which do not face our own extinction because we have been blinded by greed and grandiosity.   

Some of the queries that came to me are: 

• What does a father provide? 
• What is it like to be without a father? 
• What is work? 
• What kind of work do we need to do now? 

Joseph Olejak

Every year in parts of the midwest patches of prairie grass are burned to keep invasive grasses out and nurture the native prairie species.  You might be asking yourself what does this have to do with being a Quaker or the deepening of spiritual practices?   A good question. 

Let me start at the beginning.  I attended a conference this past weekend at Powell House led by Brent Bill titled "Bad Quakers."  The title is a bit deceiving, because even though we heard stories about bad Quakers we used the practice of the queries to sharpen our focus on the Quaker Testimonies.  [what is commonly called SPICES -- Spirituality, Peace, Integrity, Community, Equality and Stewardship (sometimes Service is substituted here)]

At the end the event, Brent and I were talking about how he takes care of his prairie land in Indiana and a controlled burn came up.  It made some sense to me that we were taking about stewardship of his land, but I didn't really understand why at this moment we were talking about it.  And there is a connectedness to all things. One thing I did learn is that prairie grass puts roots down several feet into the earth.  Regular grass doesn't. 

As we drilled down into the testimonies with the queries, we got closer and closer to the essential elements of each one.  For me, it was like setting fire to the prairie.  Burning off everything that is not needed and making room for the native species to come up and refresh the landscape.  And isn't this the essence of continuing revelation?  To be in  deep spiritual inquiry -- in the NOW -- and see what arises?  

Of course the testimony that speaks loudest to me is peace.  As a "man of action" I am always thinking about the doing.  What peace action can I take that will forward peace?  What is the next thing we can do on our committee?  These outward manifestations of peace witness are useful and important, but they are only half the story.  Like the prairie grass what you see on the surface is only a small part of what is there.  What is going on down below?  How deep are the roots?   

The inward manifestation of peace is the other part of the peace testimony.  It is the source, the lodestone, the well spring, and the inspiration for the outward manifestation.  The prep work of dwelling in the silence and arriving at clarity for what the peace work will be is deeply important work.  This inward time is what can carry peace work a long way.  All too often movements are built on the energy and excitement that arises out of opposition, but they peter out because they are not sourced and powered by the infinite working of peace within ourselves.  

Movements burn out and activists suffer from exhaustion because they are not grounded in the deep work of being FOR PEACE.  

Queries on the Quaker Testimonies: 

• What testimony speaks to my condition? 
• What is my inner and outer manifestation of that testimony? 
• Are there "invasive species" in my testimony that need to be burned off?

Joseph Olejak   

"To be a Negro in this country and to be relatively conscious is to be in a rage almost all the time.” ~ James Baldwin
​
When I saw this quote I thought to myself: "this was me to a tee."  If I remove negro from this sentence it was an apt description.  From the age of 16 I knew something was amiss.  I just couldn't tell what it was.  And I got angry and was angry for a long time.  

For Baldwin he had to leave the USA to find a place he could call home, he was attacked on the left and the right for being black, gay, a freedom fighter, and outspoken.

And while that direction was right for Baldwin, it is not right for me.  If there is one thing I have learned from Quaker meeting it is that you can't run from your thoughts, they follow you wherever you go.  For me the transformative power of Quaker Meeting was using the alchemy of silence to change rust into gold.  That is changing rage about the way things are through love to create the world we seek.  

As we come upon April and consider the world we seek, I ask that members of the meeting consider seven areas that we can share with FCNL (Friends Committee on National Legislation) for our representatives in Washington DC.  You can write down seven areas that you feel are important for legislative action and include up to 20 words as a comment on each.  Such as: 

Dismantling Nuclear Weapons
The world I seek is one where we do not threaten each other with mutually assured destruction, but use that money for constructive purposes such as education and the general uplift of all people.  

Rage has it place, but it is only useful for a very narrow thing -- getting into action.  If you are angry, offended, and upset by the actions of government that's okay.  What are the next steps?  

Here's one: Join the Outreach, Peace, and Justice Committee on April 7th at 10 am and share your thoughts. 

Some Quaker concerns are: 

• Peacebuilding, diplomacy and the peaceful prevention of war the Middle East 
• Reduction in military spending and armed interventions
• Nuclear disarmament and non-proliferation
• Equitable and fair criminal justice system
• Immigration system that promotes dignity and fairness 
• Open and transparent political process
• Ending gun violence 
• Witnessing Native American concerns & honoring treaties
• Economic justice 
• Healthcare affordability
• Sustainable energy solutions and climate change ​

Here are some queries to consider: 

• What am I angry about? 
• What comes after rage? 
• Do I just complain about the way things are or am I part of the solution? 
• How do I constructively engage with the powers that be? 
• What areas can I work on that will make a difference? 

Joseph Olejak 

When I come back what will the world have learned?
Will the courageous have shunned war’s scourge
covering the graves with flowers; ploughed berms
 
support a crop of corn?  Will tilling tractors turn
a boustrophedon where shells did their worst?
When I come back what will the world have learned?
 
Will mines have rusted and cluster bomb kerns
rotted beside white phosphorous? Will nature prosper,
covering the graves with flowers?  Ploughed berms
 
in hilly forts make a vista where uranium burned
a path through genes to a generation’s disaster?
When I come back what will the world have learned?
 
Will ammunition that the creeks have churned,
sog its last round, saltpeter pasture?
Covering the graves with flowers ploughed berms
 
sprout the swords of iris instead of germs
or gas hissed from its unfastened canisters?
When I come back what will the earth have learned?
Graves covered with flowers and ploughed berms?
 
​Bob Elmendorf

About a week ago I saw the film Green Book and like a gnat flying around my ears there is a burning question that has stayed with me.  There is a scene in the film where the protagonist, Dr. Shirley (played by Mahershala Ali), after getting into a situation with the cops is deeply frustrated with how he is saved by his driver, Tony Vallelonga (played by Viggo Mortensen).  

He exclaims: "WHERE DO I BELONG?!!"  

We come to understand that he inhabits this place between two worlds.  The white world of dominant, privileged culture and classical music where he performs and makes his living and the black world of his ancestors and the people suffering under Jim Crow laws. 

BUT ... his question is not a black or white question.  Nor is it a gay, straight or trans question or even a male or female question ... it is A UNIVERSAL QUESTION OF THE HUMAN CONDITION!  Every one of us has found ourselves in situations where we felt we did not belong.  Cultures have expressions for this.  In Japan you don't want to be "the nail that stands out from the others (or else you'll be hammered down) and in France to not belong is to have "your ass between two chairs." 

Humans, by our very nature, are tribal.  We want to belong to a group.  And belonging has comfort.  It also has drawbacks.  For myself, I have often felt that belonging felt like being on a RR track.  The path was clear and set out before me, but very little room for deviation.  The older I get the more I realize that I don't have to rely on tracks already laid.  I can be the RR Company and lay my own track.  The second path is much more uncomfortable, but it fulfills powerfully on the question "where do I belong" because the answer comes from a deeply connected spiritual place. 

BUT .. and here again ... the question is not just where do I belong, but where to go?   How do we answer these deep and profound questions of existence?  The film had some answers for Dr. Shirley.  For him it was the courage to challenge accepted norms of behaviour and break down stereotypes.  However, the film offered no advice however on how to ask the questions and develop the courage to do that.  

The message I received in meeting is simple but rings true: I BELONG WHERE I AM NOW.   

Before we can assess where to go, who we are, what there is to do, and how to lay down new track -- we must start with the accepting the present and getting absolutely clear on what it is and what it is not.   My sense about the feeling of belonging is that we are deeply disconnected from who we are right now. It is so easy to go on auto pilot traversing weeks and years in the same rut.  If we can become grounded in what is, accept that, welcome that, and embrace that ... then maybe it is possible to take a leap from there to somewhere else.  New trajectories can open once we start to awaken. 

In the film, Tony gets connected to who he is in a deeply personal way.  Through that connection he is able to develop compassion, but also the courage to confront his own racism.  Every one of us has that same opportunity.  All it takes is the willingness to BE and a willingness TO LOOK. 

Inquiries about belonging: 

• Where am I now? 
• What is the "what's so" of my situation? 
• Am I willing to be in an inquiry about my own situation? (That is accepting what is and being willing to consider that maybe I know nothing about what is actually going on around me?) 
• Can I let go of any shame about what is and put on the mantle of dignity? 
• Can I imagine that maybe where I am is where I belong and that any change that needs or wants to come can start from right there by just being present?

Joseph Olejak 

We arrived in the train station at 5:30 am.  The first thing I noticed was a woman who had dropped her train pass.  I reached down and returned it to her.   The second thing was a man who left his boarding pass in the self serve kiosk. I gave it to the KLM ticket agent. The third thing was a woman who lost her scarf going through the turnstiles. I picked it up and returned it to her. 

We were on the station platform waiting for the train to Schiphol airport. It was a cold and drizzling. Phoenix had a dull headache so I moved my bag to the side of the bench so she could lay her head down on my lap and be caressed.  A few minutes later our train slipped into Amsterdam Central Station and we jumped up to get on.  

In the early hours of the morning when you are both sleep deprived and coffee deprived it is possible to miss things, important things, as there are so many details to manage in a new and strange environment. New language, new customs, new rules ... new everything. What one takes for granted and what one does effortlessly at home takes a certain bandwidth to manage in a foreign country.  

Up escalators, printing boarding passes, standing in lines, and going through security.  Then I saw the sign: "Please remove laptops and place them separately in the bin."  Instinctively, I reached around for the bag that usually straddles my hip like a saddle bag and it was not there.  THEN IT HIT ME.

In less than a split second I felt the churn in my stomach and a bead of sweat trickled down the center of my back..  That feeling of dread. The feeling when you know something has gone terribly wrong and you are in the worst possible position to do anything about it spread over me like a black cloud.   We stepped out of the security line and were immediately flagged.  I said to the security people "I need to speak to the police, I've lost a very important bag." To their credit they took this very seriously and whisked us to the exit and told us how to find the police.  

The clock was ticking now.  I really had been outside the feeling of time until this moment when I realized we might have only a few minutes until the next train came through platform 7a where many people might see the bag.  Our flight to Copenhagen would be leaving in 28 minutes.  As the urgency rose, I could feel my head spinning.  At once and without any warning I was in "emergency mode."  Whatever calm I previously possessed had vanished.  I was disconnected from Source. 

Me: "I've lost my computer bag, can you help us?" 
Police: "I'm sorry we don't do that sort of thing, you should see the station manager." 
Me: "where is that?" 
Police: "Down the stairs, past the information desk, go right past the flowers and it is on the right." 

TICK< TOCK< TICK ... 23 minutes. 

Waiting in line. TICK< TOCK< TICK ... 20 minutes. 

Clerk: "Hallo, hoe kan ik u helpen"
Me: "I forgot my bag on platform 7a waiting for the 5:43 to Schiphol from Amsterdam Central Station.  
Clerk: "okay. give your information to this man [she points to another staff person] and immediately gets on the phone to Amsterdam Central.  
Second clerk: "what did the bag look like?" 
Me: "It was a black over the shoulder computer bag with a MacBook Air, two books, some post cards and books from the Van Gogh Museum and a bunch of cords and stuff" 
Clerk: [passing a note to the woman on the phone to the central station] And what is your information?  

We give all the details of where we are staying in Holland and then we must leave trusting that these people will do their best. 

Me: "thank you for all your help. What is the next step.  
Clerk: "Wait.  We'll call you if we find it."

With that we collected our things and dashed back to the security queue. 

TICK>TOCK< TICK ... 14 min to departure.  

Thankfully we were sent to a short line and passed through security without incident.  Walking fast and thinking about sprinting to Gate 26A my heart was beating fast, my stomach still churning, and feeling very warm as I had not shed my jacket.  

TICK<TOCK>TICK  ... 7 min.  

Phoenix: Okay.  We're here.  We made it.  And, if you really want to get your laptop back…YOU NEED TO STOP RIGHT NOW!  Pull your Quaker practice toward you.  This can only go one of 2 ways, Fear or Faith- and it’s totally up to you.  You can do this.
  
Me: [I just wanted to cry.  When my father died I inherited his laptop.  As a thing it had no value other than as a machine, but as an object it contained all the sentimental value of my father’s notes in it.  I felt as if losing it was losing a part of my father and a part of his connection to me].  "You are absolutely right. I've got to shut down this fear right away.  There are many good people in the world and some of those good people are helping us right now."   
Phoenix: "You're going to have to pull that laptop toward you, but before you can do that you must let go of the fear that you'll never see it again."

PA SYSTEM: "Would all KLM passengers on Flight 1125 please report to gate 26a. Final Boarding call!!" 

TICK > TOCK > BING!! ... TIMES UP.

I've never had to center down on a deadline, but if ever there was a time to do it -- this was the moment.  Gathering years of Quaker practice into a single moment, I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and asked God for help. 

Phoenix: “First of all, there’s nothing actually ‘lost’ in the universe -- only temporarily misplaced.  There is an energetic practice you can use when you misplace something… where you wrap a golden lasso around it and pull it back toward yourself.  If you want to do this, just imagine this in your mind’s eye." 

Like a spiritual cowboy, I spin the golden lasso in a big circle over my head and hurl it out into space toward the bag on the platform in Amsterdam Central Station.   It finds its mark and with one yank, I cinch it up tight. 

Just then I got a message from my father.  "I'll find it and make sure it gets back to you.  It will be easy for me to do from where I am." 

Phoenix: “You should ask your dad to help you."  
Me: "He's already on it." 

And then our jet was in the air.  Cut off from all communication, the only thing there was to do was wait. 

An hour later our flight touched down in Copenhagen, and as we made our way to the baggage area my roller bag snagged on something.  It was a baggage tag from someone else's luggage that read "Bag Me Take Home."  We cracked up.  Coincidence? 

As we moved through the airport we keep seeing signs for "baggage re-claim" instead of the “baggage claim" we’re used to.  Coincidence? 

Then, Phoenix’s eyes land on a bright red book in the airport bookshop, with the word ‘FEAR in all caps.  She feels like she should approach it, so she does.  She’s never seen it before.  It’s Bob Woodward’s new bestseller on Trump, “FEAR: Trump in the White House”.  She turns it over and the first words she sees are Trump’s own: “Real Power is ‘Fear’.”  She shows me this.  Coincidence?  

Is real power fear?  Is real power faith?  What is real power?

We find a hotspot and check messages.  Nothing. I started to feel the dread creeping in again.   

Phoenix: [with that look on her face when she knows something is happening with me] "This is only going one way.  Don't go there.  Have faith.”

Me: "okay. probably too soon to know anything.  I mean someone may have turned it in and gone home after an all night shift."
Phoenix: "let's give it some time and call after we get to the hotel." 
Me: "yes, yes, yes. " 

Exhausted, we arrive at the hotel and take a long, much-needed nap.  After waking, we're sitting in the room and Phoenix asks me to check in.  "Close your eyes.  Where is your bag and computer now?" 
Me: [pause] I sense into the universe… It's in a cage in a room somewhere in central station. 
Phoenix: okay, it's time to call.
Me: I don’t want to make the call.
Phoenix: But you have do it.  I can't make that call for you.  You’re the only one who can pull it back to you.

I overcome my fear and pick up the phone.  I reach Rasheeda in the baggage reclaim department.  
Me: Hello, Rasheeda.  That is a unique name." 
Rasheeda: "do you know it?"
Me: “As a matter of fact I do.  It was the name of the woman who ran a house I worked in when I was in Scotland."  (Coincidence?)

Rasheeda.  "I am from Morocco, where was she from?" 
Me: "Indonesia.” 
Rasheeda: “But you didn't call to learn my name, did you?" 
Me: “No, I'm looking for a bag.  A black bag with books and a computer.  I made a report to the Station Manager at Amsterdam Central Station, and they said they’d call me if it got turned it by anyone.  Do you have a record of that report?“  
Rasheeda: “No, I haven’t been told anything like that.  But, let me just go check to see if your bag is here after all.”

(a couple of minutes pass…)  I’m excited.  I’m scared.  Honestly, I don’t even know what to feel…  The anticipation is killing me.

Rasheeda: “Okay, there is ONE black computer bag…  Can you just tell me the name of the books inside, so I can tell if it’s yours, or not?"
Me: “Yes, I can!  ‘The Powers That Be’ (side-note: that’s a book about spiritual power being greater than physical power, LOL!) and "The Outermost House" (a book of observations on Cape Cod.)
Rasheeda: “That’s great!  Your bag is here…  Let me give you your reclaim number: 8000 932 573.
Me: “Oh my God, thank you, thank you, thank you!” 
Rasheeda: “You are very lucky.  This almost never happens."
Me: "Maybe it was luck, but I think some other factors were in play." 

The message that this story brings into my awareness is that in life there are many possible outcomes for any given situation that are determined by our intentions.  Our intention, which is an expression of our will, is likely to influence which world we inhabit. By asking for help, by invoking the golden lasso and allowing myself to engage in an act of faith it became possible to to alter the fabric of the universe (what is sometimes called the morphogenic field)- like when a scientist observes an experiment and by just observing, alters the outcome.  

But ... and yes there is a BUT ... to have a willingness to have faith and surrender (even when things (seem) outside of our realm of control) one has to also accept that there might be an unintended intention, a shadow intention. First, be aware that it might be there and second, know that it is possible to accept both ... BUT THEN CHOOSE which intention to adopt and which to let go of.

In my case I wanted to get the bag back, but I also had a shadow intention, a fear, that it was stolen.  A fear that there were people with mal intentent toward me.  A fear that I am a victim. I chose to give up the fear, surrender into faith, and let it come back to me. 

The other half of faith is trust.  Trusting that the outcome that happens might actually be the best outcome and not being too rigidly attached to having things turn out a certain way.  

Here are the queries I am considering regarding faith and trust: 

• What is real power?
• Is it possible to have faith when something really bad happens? 
• Can one just "have faith" or is something else required for faith to emerge? 
• Can I have faith in myself, in others, in the spiritual world to deliver on my intentions? 
• Can I also accept that I might have other (shadow) intentions and then choose my focus? 
• Are trust and faith the same thing?  How are they similar?  Different? 
• Do the fearful and the faithful have the same ability to shift the morphogenic field?  If so, how? 

Joseph Olejak