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Schisms & Bindings

1/30/2020

1 Comment

 
Schism -- a split or division between strongly opposed sections or parties, caused by differences in opinion or belief.

Binding -- the action of fastening or holding together.

Before I sat in meeting this Sunday I took the time to prepare my mind with a query: "What, Great Sprit, would you have me look at today?"

For a long time the burning question of how to deal with schisms, splits and differences of opinion has been on my mind; especially inside of the very intimate relationships we hold dear.  Siblings. Married couples. Old friends.  Dealing with this question is at the very root of peace in our lives but also central to how we generate peace in the world. 

We see schisms and splits all around us these days.  They seem very deep, but hopefully these chasms will never again be as wide as they once were when the country came to civil war.  And no institution seems to be immune from schisms.  Not politics.  Not families. Not friends.  Not even Quakers.  

One one occasion a very volatile Quaker, Elias Hicks even went so far as to call for the murder of an Orthodox Quaker who refused to acknowledge that the Bible might not be the only source of truth.  A split over what has become the idea of continuing revelation.  

Two people I know are dealing with big splits in their family life.  People are hurt and no one is talking.  Being vulnerable seems very dangerous.  The wounds are still open and raw.  No one wants salt rubbed in them. 

So how do we come together?  

One way is to simply suspend knowing.   I am reminded of that quote by Mark Twain: “It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.”

How many times have we been absolutely certain of something only later to discover we had it all wrong.  We jumped to judgment.  We misunderstood the facts.  We made assumptions that turned out to be wrong. 

One thing I've always appreciated about Quaker process is waiting.  It wasn't always that way.  I can recall in my first clearness committee there were long and uncomfortable silences where someone said something or listened to something I'd said and really just allowed it to sink in -- choosing instead to hold it instead of reacting to it.   That's a good thing, I think.  

Which brings up the idea of binding.  In the old days, when a person was injured they'd "bind up the wound" so that it would "knit itself back together."  In listening without talking.  In hearing without judging we might find ways of binding what has been rent apart. 

As I listen to the impeachment trial now going on in the US Senate, I can hear many un-listened to complaints that have now become a pus filled boil.  We must start the work of healing and step back from the precipice we are upon.  The words of Lincoln's second inaugural address come to mind: "With malice toward none, with charity for all, with firmness in the right as God gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the work we are in, to bind up the nation's wounds, to care for him who shall have borne the battle and for his widow and his orphan, to do all which may achieve and cherish a just and lasting peace among ourselves and with all nations."

There is work to be done.  Let us get to it. 

Queries on Schisms and Binding:
  • Do I come with an open heart to hear? 
  • Have I taken the time to empty out -- to suspend judgment? 
  • Am I willing to bind the wound? 
  • Can I view this wound as a spiritual journey that I can grow from? 

Joseph Olekak
1 Comment

Become Like Little Children

1/13/2020

3 Comments

 
​I was sitting in Meeting this past Sunday and was holding my own children in the light as well as my friends kids and two thoughts simultaneously popped into my head: 
  • Math 18:3 "“Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven."
  • 1 Corinthians 13:11 "When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things."
How am I supposed to hold these two disparate thoughts?  

I sat, centered down and asked for guidance.  Here is what came.  

I'd read this story about quantum physics.  This thing about quantum physics that a photon can somehow be two places at once. Something about parallel universes being created.   That seemed kind of unbelievable to me, but the more I think about it the more it seems possible.  There are many things that happen at the same time and make no sense.  I love my cat, but she drives me nuts. It's gonna take a shrink to figure that one out, but I digress. 

When I look at my 20 year old daughter I can't help but see her 2 year old self.  In fact, there were many times when I was really upset with her that that  2 year old self of hers kept her love alive in my heart.  Even when I see her now, I know that two year old is still in there.  Every once and a while it sneaks out and plays with Papa.  

And this is what is at the heart of these two passages.  We don't change.  I mean, yes, we grow up and have to do grown up stuff like doing the dishes, paying the bills, stacking wood, opening the mail, shoveling snow and 100 other really boring things, but inside there is the 2 year old.  

I saw it when I saw my daughter.  Her kid self has the ability to pop out.  I'm 30 years older than she is and it is harder for me to connect with my kid self -- but I know its still in there. 

The verse from 1 Corinthians doesn't say we should abandon entirely childish things.  in fact, I'd argue that the world would be a much better place if we stayed in touch with some of the qualities that make us more human.  How would the quality of your life and the world change if we were more connected to: 
  • play
  • joy
  • love 
  • kindness
  • awe 
  • wonder
  • laughter 
  • acceptance 
  • dancing 
  • giggles 
  • snuggles 
  • fun
Now the world clearly wants to advocate for more opening of letters and such, but God is clear about what is important.  GET IN TOUCH WITH YOUR KID SELF.  We were never asked to abandon it as we took on adult challenges.  

Joseph Olejak
3 Comments
    ​This blog was set up to post content of interest to Old Chatham Quaker members and attenders. Posts related to one's own personal spiritual journey, reports based on interviews with others, and reflections on Quaker-related topics are welcome. Posts by individuals are personal expressions and do not necessarily reflect those of the Meeting as a whole.
    Guidelines for posting on website blog:
    Submit to member of Communications committee; committee has editorial oversight over all content posted on the Meeting website.

    Be respectful of the nature of vocal ministry given in Meeting for Worship or other settings and any private conversations about spiritual matters.

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