Integrity Sucks

Wait what?  Okay, now that I've gotten your attention let me rephrase.  Truing yourself up to the internal compass of integrity can be really hard. 

I once took a seminar on integrity and the author of the seminar told us about something called "integrity baseline syndrome."  It's a thing where a person knows what to do, knows they should do it, knows when it needs to be done, knows they should communicate if they can't do it -- and then simply doesn't do it and makes others wrong if they are even asked about it. And here is the kicker, once you let your integrity drop out once it gets easier every time thereafter. 

Integrity can be really hard because if you've had a reason to true yourself up to that internal guidepost you know it can create some very challenging situations such as: 

• When you notice something is not right, do you keep quiet or say something?  If you say something, someone is going to get angry? Will there be a personal cost? If you stay quiet you just let a little piece of your integrity drop by the wayside.  

And so it goes.  With every new situation you have these two choices.  True up or Turn away.  If you choose to true up you become that person who is the difficult one. It can be isolating. 

So why does integrity suck?  Well for one thing staying true to that internal compass is hard enough, but knowing the way and then not going the way is even harder.  It is hard because on some level we understand the fraud we are perpetrating on ourselves by keeping quiet and because no one likes to look bad, be vulnerable or cry in public --- grappling with one's internal compass almost never gets shared.  The burden of the fraud just stays there like a dark cloud.  

But wait, you say, isn't it just easier to go along and get along?  Sure, for a while, but that cross gets heavier and heavier as time goes on. I am convinced that much of the mental illness in the world today is the direct result of the cognitive dissonance people carry with them.  Eventually that mental two step gradually seeps into our outward expression.  First it is lies, then cover up, and then who knows what.  It starts the moment we ignore the little voice in us.   It is almost as if we begin leading a kind of schizophrenic life with one part of us knowing what direction the internal compass would have us move in and the other part marching with the masses. 

Imagine for a moment if George Fox, hearing a message, decided to just ignore it.  What do you think would have become of him?

Here's the thing.  There is no convenient time to take the right action, say 'no' to something wrong, or say 'yes' to something right.  There will be consequences one way or the other.  The only question that really matters is this one: 

• Can you live with yourself?  

This is a really big thing right now.  We have a whistleblower in government who is taking a huge personal risk to expose corruption. Their story, and many other stories about people who made a decision to follow their internal compass, start like this:  "I had to do it because I could not live with myself otherwise."

Queries on following the internal compass: 

• What is the source of my conscience tugging at me? Does it come from shame or guilt or does it come from a value or principle that I hold dear? 
• Am I keeping my concern about integrity to myself or have I shared it with a trusted listener? 
• How long have I been living with the integrity issue?  Is it affecting my well-being? 
• Are there ways of resolving the lack of integrity that could benefit everyone?